How to Get Past Infedelity

Getting past your partner's infidelity can be a long journey. The key to success in getting over such a hurdle is for both people to understand what role they need to play.
The Betrayer
The betrayer must understand and accept responsibility for their role as the originator of all the havoc. You don't have to wear any scarlet letters, but acceptance and ownership is key before a resolution can be reached.
The Betrayed
The Betrayed has to be honest with themselves, before anyone else, and really gauge if the relationship is worth the work it will take to salvage it and if they can actually let go.

Some key concepts to focus on while trying to work through this together are:

1. Remorse is a powerful tool. Admit to the truth and apologize. Never be afraid or ashamed to say "I'm Sorry". Lying will breed more resentment and hatred for your character, not the event. Remorse will lead to respect, which is all you can ask for in some cases.

2. Don't play the blame game. There may be issues in the relationship that lead to this event, but focusing on the problems will never lead you to a solution. Pointing your finger at someone only shows one direction, and you need to create a new path.

3.Counsel each other. I know it can be hard talking almost endlessly about the same issue, but all of your feelings (no matter how big/small or terrible/hurtful) must be expunged before you can work past the pain. During these talk sessions keep it in mind that this is therapy, patient Dr. privileges do apply. Which means that anythings said between the two of you must not be repeated to anyone else or rehashed to use as a weapon.

4. Working at regaining trust is a full time job. This means that everything you say must be right and exact, (at least for a comfortable amount of time) as to not allow any on going suspicion from your partner. Where ever you are supposed to be, be there. Keep your phone on, be available, you may need to answer on the spot questions in the continued journey to regain your credibility.

5. Renew you relationship. Your relationship after an indiscretion may never be the same, but look forward to the possibilities of what may become. Build on it like a brand new relationship. Keep the faith that there is a chance that this can actually make your bond much stronger. You can walk away with a renewed relationship on a much more solid foundation.